Wrinkles and such

I am complicated and pithy and real. I am a woman not a girl. I bear stretch marks on my left breast from the time I swelled up to become a cozy home for another human. I have wrinkles between my eyebrows because I frequently squint at people who I percieve as daft or dull. I have any number of grey hairs that each represent worry and heart ache that I have earned with time and sweat and tears. I have skin that was inflicted for too many years by the sun's rays. I am not always charming and sometimes have nothing at all witty to say.

Do you really want that 25 year old just because you can? 

If you don't like me because I make you laugh, make you feel cared for, or will even sort out your troubles in a big pile on the floor on any given rainy day, well then I can't help you my friend.

If this means I have only friends and not lovers than let this be so. If all men want are youth and valid curves than I am not suited to them or them to me. 

If what we had is not good enough for you then I can not save you from your lonely existance. If you don't realise that my flesh and my soul are connected and that later you can feel both if only you will give up plyable constructed notions of age and beauty and substance in exchange for what is real and good and true. I am a thousand things. I am 39 years of life. I am messy and late and disorganised. I am imperfect in every moment. This I know. This I love. This I have made peace with. 

Leave me like table scraps and maybe someone hungry enough will find me. Let my sweetness find a home in the lap of another because my life and my soul is so tangled that it is no longer recognisable to you as beauty. Let me make peace with the fact that I don't measure up to childhood fairytales of lost glass slippers.

Don't worry. There are 6 billion people in this world. There will be someone who will scoop me up. Love my wrinkles, my well used breasts and my messy life. Someone who will see the well wrapped gift that I will share if they let me. Its ok if this is not what you want. I can not help you want me. But I know the hidden treasures burried in wrinkles, you are the one missing out.